


비밀테이프

by spearbi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Merry Christmas!, Non Canonical, hyunjin is kinda dense, jisung best boy, sweet n short!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21942685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spearbi/pseuds/spearbi
Summary: Hyunjin's rent is upped in December, so he leases his spare room out to a total stranger. The extra money, he's prepared for- but the feelings? Not so much.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 355
Collections: SKZ Secret Santa





	비밀테이프

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sprbs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprbs/gifts).



> _you can show me a little  
>  your time  
> i just need a little of it  
> a bit of awkwardness is okay_  
> -[secret tape](https://open.spotify.com/track/2g5Tbu6EbZz9pT3ku8JXfc?si=HqOPADRtQ-2iDICsNg-frg), **sunmi**

+++

Hyunjin’s rent gets bumped in December. It’s cruel, really, to jack up a student’s rent during the holidays, but there’s nothing to be done about it. Hyunjin just stares at the email from his landlord and makes a pathetic squeaking noise. 

He barely has enough money to cover his  _ dog’s  _ food, let alone his own. ( Kkami isn’t even allowed in the apartment building, so Hyunjin has to sneak him in and out for walks and trips to the vet). Adding Christmas and finals into the mix leaves Hyunjin in the negatives- both financially and emotionally. So he does the unthinkable and posts an ad online for a roommate. 

A  _ roommate.  _

Hyunjin is the kind of person who likes his own space- likes to come home from classes or one of his part time jobs and just lie down. Han Jisung ruins all of that. 

He’s the third person Hyunjin has interviewed for position of co-renter, and the only person who doesn’t have a lengthy criminal record online, so Hyunjin doesn’t have many options. 

He emails Jisung back with his address and a time, irritated at how chipper the stranger is.  _ Please don’t be a murderer,  _ Hyunjin prays.  _ I can’t handle that right now. Not during exam week.  _

The man in question shows up at Hyunjin’s door on the tenth of December, one hand holding a flaking almond croissant and the other clutching the strap of his black backpack.

“Hey,” he says breathlessly. His eyes are pretty-  _ like the rest of him,  _ Hyunjin thinks absentmindedly. “I’m Han Jisung. Twenty years old. I’m here about the ad you posted online…?” 

“Ah,” Hyunjin manages. He’s still half-asleep and wearing fruit-patterned boxers, but this stranger doesn’t seem to care. “Please, come in.” 

Jisung bobs his head and wanders inside, brushing against Hyunjin’s arm in the process. He smells strongly of strawberry and vanilla. Hyunjin wrinkles his nose and follows the other man inside. Jisung spins in a circle, arms spread. “Wow, it’s really clean in here.” 

“Yeah,” Hyunjin replies. “I like it that way.” 

Jisung takes a careful bite of his croissant and beams at him. “I can be clean!” 

Hyunjin hums doubtfully and gestures towards the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? I have tea, mostly.” 

Jisung grins at Hyunjin like he’s just offered the guy a gold brick, or something. “That would be awesome.” 

Over tea and a split croissant, Hyunjin learns a little bit about Jisung. He’s twenty, a music major, and has two part time jobs that he absolutely hates. 

“I want to get into music production,” Jisung confides, fingers wrapped around the chipped purple of Hyunjin’s mug. “I used to think about becoming a musician- a performer, you know- but I never liked the idea of being on stage by myself.”

“Hm,” Hyunjin agrees. “Music production is cool, though. It sounds busy.” 

Jisung laughs, light and easy. “It is! I like keeping myself busy. I get antsy if I have too much free time. What do you do?” 

Hyunjin stirs his tea idly. He hates small talk; he’s never been good at speaking candidly with people he’s not familiar with. The words come out clumsily, and he loathes himself for it. “I’m in school for dance and library tech.” 

It’s nothing special ( nothing like  _ music production )  _ but Jisung lights up all the same. “That’s so  _ cool,”  _ he says, and proceeds to ask Hyunjin approximately seventy questions about his studies. It’s draining, talking to somebody so high energy, but when Jisung leaves Hyunjin is confident that he’ll be the one to share an apartment with- even if Jisung is someone that Hyunjin is unlikely to really befriend. 

+++

Hyunjin lets Jisung know about his decision. Jisung sends back an email with no words: 

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

+++

Jisung is messy. Hyunjin was kind of expecting the other man to be a bit of a whirlwind- but not a natural disaster. Jisung, Hyunjin learns a week in from their conjoined living, is a  _ tornado.  _ He stands in the hallway, dumbfounded at the state of the living room. There are wrappers and clothes scattered everywhere- not something that Hyunjin wants to see after six hours of classes. 

“It looks like somebody broke in and robbed us,” Hyunjin says by way of greeting, hand curled around the doorframe of Jisung’s bedroom. Jisung looks up, a lollipop wedged in one cheek. “What?” 

Hyunjin jerks a thumb towards the living room. “Are you always this messy?” 

To his credit, Jisung looks properly mollified. He shifts the lollipop to his other cheek with his tongue- Hyunjin wonders if Jisung’s lips are naturally red or if their tint is a product of the candy. “Sorry,” he says, genuinely apologetic. “It’s finals for me, too- and I don’t mean to be so, uh, unorganized, but it just  _ happens-,”  _

“Just don’t do it again,” Hyunjin mumbles, and staggers off to bed more irritated than he has any right to be. 

( Jisung does it again. And again. And  _ again-  _ no matter how many times Hyunjin reminds him. )

All the small things about Jisung dig at Hyunjin- gnaw at him slowly, quietly, like water eroding river rock. Jisung’s laugh carries through walls, and so does his singing. Hyunjin wants to hate it-wants to hate Jisung- but he can’t, not when Jisung sings like a nightingale and uses Hyunjin’s toothbrush by accident. Not when Jisung leaves encouraging sticky notes on the fridge when their schedules cause them to not see each other for days. 

Jisung breaks Hyunjin’s routine, and that frustrates him. Kkami loves the shorter man, and that just pisses Hyunjin off more. 

Hyunjin doesn’t want to like Jisung, but he doesn’t want to hate him, either. 

So he stays in his limbo, treating Jisung with the neutral, detached kind of behaviour that he would give coworkers or classmates. Jisung doesn’t seem to notice-or care- though once in a while Jisung hesitates before asking or offering something to him. 

( He stills collects the notes that Jisung leaves on the fridge. They go into a little cardboard box that he slides underneath his bed. Hyunjin is still not entirely sure as to why he’s doing it. ) 

+++

Hyunjin’s parents drop by his apartment on Christmas Eve- to make sure that he’s still coming to the family dinner, no doubt- but he’s not there. Jisung is, however, and that encounter goes about as well as one would expect. 

When Hyunjin arrives home, his uniform smelling strongly of coffee and peppermint, his parents are leaving. Their faces are like thunderclouds; Hyunjin takes one look at them and  _ knows  _ that Jisung said or did something to offend them. 

_ Like that’s hard to do.  _

“Mom,” Hyunjin says quietly. “Dad. I didn’t expect to see you until later.” 

His mother’s neatly painted lips flatten into a thin line. “You have someone  _ living  _ with you?” 

“I needed a roommate,” Hyunjin mutters. “He was the best fit.” The strap of his backpack chafes against his shoulder and his feet are sore- all he wants to do is take a nap before dragging himself to his parent’s house. 

His father reaches out and grips Hyunjin’s shoulder far too tightly. “Do I need to remind you about what kind of company you should be keeping?” He casts a look back at the apartment, distaste written across his face. “Because that boy is  _ not  _ it.” 

“You don’t get to choose for me,” Hyunjin bites out. He shakes his father’s hand off and walks ahead. “See you at dinner.” 

His mother’s voice is shrill, irritated. “We’ll be talking about this later!” 

Hyunjin is so, so tired of his suffocating family- tired of their expectations and judgement and control. “Fine,” he says, just to get them to leave, and shuts the door behind him. He sighs and leans his forehead against the cool wood of the front door. 

“Hi,” Jisung ventures weakly. 

Hyunjin bangs his head against the front door. 

“I- look. I’m sorry,” Jisung whispers. “You told me they were a bit cold, but I didn’t realize that they were like  _ that _ .” He’s holding Kkami close to his chest; she looks up at Hyunjin with eyes almost as round as Jisung’s. Hyunjin stares, something knotting tight in his chest. 

“It’s fine. They’re not- you know,” Hyunjin says, waving a hand through the tension in the air. “They’re just really… particular with who I hang out with. It upsets them when I meet people they haven’t approved.” 

Jisung frowns. “That’s not healthy.”

“It could be worse,” Hyunjin replies, and Jisung looks away. “Look- it’s fine. Seriously. They’ll get over it.” 

“You still sound pissed off.” 

Hyunjin taps his forefinger against his arm and locks the front door, peering through the little window just in time to see his father’s SUV peel away from the curb aggressively. “I’m not. I just- I didn’t want them to know about someone like you yet.” 

Jisung makes an offended noise. “Someone like  _ me?”  _

Hyunjin whirls around. “That- that is  _ not  _ what I meant.” 

Kkami whines and gives him a judgemental look. Hyunjin glares at her. The silence between them stretches uncomfortably. 

“Have a nice time tonight,” Jisung says snidely, and stalks off to his room, Kkami hot on his heels. The door slams, and Hyunjin is left in an empty room with a sour taste in his mouth. 

+++

Hyunjin straightens his tie and pulls his loafers on with one hand. “Jisung, I’m leaving.”

There’s silence. 

“Jisung?” 

Nothing. 

“Okay,” Hyunjin says. He runs a hand through his hair. “Okay. See you later. I’ll be back around eleven, probably.” 

The words are on the tip of his tongue-  _ When I said 'someone like you' I meant ‘someone I care about very much-  _ but something stops him from saying them aloud. With a frustrated shake of his head, he leaves. 

+++ 

It’s snowing. 

Hyunjin makes it a block and a half before turning around.  _ I can’t just leave him there.  _

Jisung shouldn’t be alone on Christmas. Nobody should be alone on Christmas. 

Hyunjin wrinkles his nose and wipes a numb hand against his equally frozen cheeks. His mother will be furious- and his father disappointed- but this is nothing new. Twenty years, and they still haven’t changed. They’re frozen, and they always will be. 

Jisung isn’t, though. He’s warm. He’s like looking right into the sun. Hyunjin picks up the pace, the heels of his boots sinking down into the snow with a  _ crunch.  _

_ I’m so stupid,  _ Hyunjin thinks, equal parts frustrated and amused.  _ I’m the biggest idiot to ever exist.  _

He arrives back at the apartment complex with a lighter heart and no mittens. The old lady on 4C gives him a knowing look as he charges for the stairs, taking them two at a time. 

_ Please don’t be gone,  _ Hyunjin pleads, thawing fingers tingling as he punches in the four letter password.  _ Please don’t be- _

The door opens with a soft  _ click,  _ and Hyunjin steps inside. The lights are off, and the apartment is dark, save for a muted golden glow in the hallway. 

Breath caught in his throat, Hyunjin moves forward, snow melting off his boots onto the carpet. “Jisung?” 

There’s a pause, an exhale- and then the bathroom door creaks open. Jisung looks up at him, mouth slightly ajar. Hyunjin’s plaid blanket is wrapped around his shoulders, and his hair is ruffled. There’s something sharp and vulnerable about him in this moment: Hyunjin knows that this is a side of Jisung he isn’t meant to see. 

Jisung swallows and looks down, smile wobbling. “Sorry for being so-I thought that you left-your family-,” 

“You’re  _ crying,”  _ Hyunjin says hopelessly, and pulls the younger man into a tight hug, blanket and all. “You can’t just  _ do  _ that.” 

Jisung’s laughs wetly. “I don’t see why not.” 

Hyunjin sniffs. “Because I’ll start crying, and then I won’t  _ stop-,”  _ He breaks off as Jisung reaches up and wipes a stray tear off his cheek with a thumb. “See? Like that.” 

“You are so strange,” Jisung whispers. “Every time I think I have you figured out, you do or say something that throws me for a loop. I don’t understand what you want.” 

“I don’t either,” Hyunjin admits. “I never do. I’m indecisive  _ and  _ bad with change.” He shifts back slightly, cheeks red. “I’d like to spend Christmas with you, though.” 

Jisung smiles, soft and surprised, and Hyunjin feels something crack inside his chest. “And how do you want to do that?” 

“I think,” Hyunjin says tentatively, “I’d start with something like this.” He cups Jisung’s face in his hands, thumbs brushing against the line of the other man’s jaw. Jisung sucks in a breath and leans in, expression warm and open. 

Snow blows outside their apartment, and Hyunjin’s parents send calls to a phone that is set to silent- but inside, there is only Jisung’s mouth against his, and the faint, sweet smell of strawberry and vanilla. Jisung tastes like coffee and caramel and salt. “I like you,” Hyunjin realizes, pulling away to catch air. “Oh my god. I  _ like  _ you.” 

Jisung bites back a laugh, eyes dancing. “You didn’t realize that until now? I liked you from the moment you opened the front door in your ugly boxers. Have you never fallen for someone before?” 

Hyunjin presses a gentle kiss to the underside of Jisung’s jaw and grins at the resulting shiver. “I have. Just not- I don’t know. Just not like this.” 

“Well,” Jisung says thoughtfully, lips quirking up into a smile, “I suppose you’ll have to get used to it.” 

“Maybe I will,” Hyunjin replies breathlessly, and pulls Jisung in for another kiss. Kkami gives a delighted little bark. 

( They have hotteok for Christmas dinner. ) 

Something tells Hyunjin that Jisung won’t be moving out for a long, long time- and he finds that he doesn’t mind at all. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello, fairychen! i hope the holidays have been kind to u + i hope u like this! <3


End file.
